Prep the cutting board: Add 2.5 iceberg lettuce leaves, 4.5 chicken breast deli meat slices, 5.5 deli salami slices, 3.5 American cheese slices, 4 tomato slices, 0.5 green bell pepper, sliced, 0.3 small red onion, sliced, and 2 tbsp banana peppers, sliced to a large cutting board (leave the sub rolls aside for now).

Chop everything together: Using a large knife, chop through all the ingredients until they are broken down into small, bite-sized pieces, tossing as you go.

Add sauce and seasoning: Mix in 2 tablespoons mayonnaise, 2.5 tablespoons sriracha ranch dressing, 0.3 teaspoons salt, and 0.3 teaspoons black pepper with the chopped ingredients. Continue chopping and folding until evenly coated.

Prep the rolls: Cut 2 white sub rolls in half lengthwise, without cutting all the way through, so each roll opens like a book.

Fill and serve: Divide the chopped mixture evenly between the rolls, packing it in generously. Press down gently and serve right away.